When Advisory Partners Start Wanting Different Things
Some of the hardest decisions I’ve watched advisors wrestle with begin not because something is wrong, but because the people who built the business together no longer want exactly the same things.
This is especially true (and complicated) on successful ensemble teams. The partners may have spent decades building something they’re enormously proud of. They trust and respect one another, their clients are well served, and the business may be more successful than they ever imagined. Yet success doesn’t guarantee that people will continue to evolve in lockstep. At some point, one partner may begin thinking differently about what he or she wants from the next chapter.
Maybe one wants to grow more aggressively or have greater control over the business, while another is perfectly satisfied with what they’ve built. One may be starting to think about succession, while another feels there is still a great deal more to accomplish. Different ages, levels of wealth, family circumstances and appetites for risk can all influence what each person wants.
No one is wrong. There is no obvious problem to solve. That’s what makes it so difficult.
When One Partner Starts to Feel the Itch
I’ve seen this dynamic play out many times over the years. One partner starts to feel an itch that the others don’t necessarily feel, and because the business is working so well, it can be remarkably easy to dismiss.
So the advisor who wants something different begins asking himself questions that can be surprisingly difficult to answer:
My partners are happy here. Why aren’t I?
Who am I to disrupt what we’ve built?
What if I push this and they don’t want to come?
Is what I want worth risking this partnership?
I’m making more money than I ever dreamed possible. How can I possibly complain?
We talk a lot in this industry about golden handcuffs—deferred compensation, retention packages, equity and forgivable loans—but on great teams, I think the emotional ties can be far more powerful. History, loyalty, gratitude and friendship can make even the idea of raising the subject feel disloyal.
I have watched extraordinarily decisive advisors struggle for years to say something that is actually quite simple: “I love what we’ve built together, but I’m beginning to wonder whether I want something different.”
So, what are they to do?
Wanting Something Different Doesn’t Mean the Partnership has Failed
We saw a version of this dynamic when we advised a large team on their departure from Merrill to launch an RIA. The essential partners ultimately aligned on a shared vision and moved together, while some advisors on the broader team chose not to go.
For them, the entrepreneurial risk and responsibility that came with building something new simply wasn’t what they wanted. With the benefit of hindsight, that distinction matters: Those who felt compelled to build something different are doing exactly that, while those who wanted another path were able to choose it.
To me, that is an important part of alignment that often gets overlooked. It isn’t necessarily about convincing everyone to want the same thing. Sometimes it means being honest enough to acknowledge that you don’t.
That said, wanting something different doesn’t automatically mean leaving is the answer.
What Does ‘More’ Actually Mean?
It’s tempting to assume that when a highly successful advisor wants “more,” they mean more money. In my experience, that often isn’t the issue at all.
“More” may mean greater autonomy or the ability to make decisions without asking permission. It may be about how the business grows, how clients are served, how the next generation is developed, or whether the advisor can build something with real enterprise value. Sometimes it is simply the recognition that the business model that worked extraordinarily well for decades no longer fits what that advisor wants from the years ahead.
To be sure, there are things more valuable than optimizing every aspect of a business, and a great partnership may certainly be one of them. An advisor may decide that staying together matters more than greater autonomy or the opportunity to build something different. I’ve counseled many advisors for whom staying was absolutely the right choice.
But there is an important distinction between consciously choosing what you have and remaining there because the alternative conversation is too uncomfortable to have.
When differences in ambition go unacknowledged, they have a way of showing up elsewhere. Frustration with the firm may become more pronounced. Growth decisions become harder. Small differences with partners begin to feel larger than they once did. Eventually, a change in compensation, a leadership decision or another bureaucratic “no” becomes the catalyst for a conversation that probably should have happened years earlier.
If You’re the Partner Who Wants More
Before asking where you could go, spend some time understanding what you’re actually trying to solve. The answers will help determine whether the issue is one the partnership can address together—or whether you are really beginning to envision a different path.
Define the itch. Is this about autonomy, growth, economics, or succession? Do you need capabilities your firm can’t provide as your clients become more complex? Has building something of your own become increasingly important to you? Until you understand what you’re seeking, it’s difficult to ask your partners to consider it with you.
Separate the firm from the partnership. Are you frustrated by what your firm won’t allow you to do, or have you and your partners begun to want different things from your careers? An advisor who wants something different from the firm may discover that his partners feel exactly the same way once someone finally raises the subject. But if the partners themselves have different visions for the future, that is a different issue to work through.
Consider what happens if nothing changes. Imagine yourself five years from now in essentially the same environment. Would you feel grateful that you protected what you built together, or would you regret never exploring what else might have been possible? Advisors expend enormous energy analyzing the risks of making a change. The status quo carries risk, too.
Know what is really non-negotiable. If keeping the partnership together matters more than anything else, acknowledge that. If pursuing a different vision has become essential to what you want from the next chapter, acknowledge that as well. There is value in being clear with yourself before asking your partners to do the same.
And then have the conversation you may have been avoiding. Not with a recruiter; with your partners. Tell them what you want before deciding they won’t want it too.
The Conversation May Change the Answer
One mistake advisors can make is deciding what their partners will think before ever asking them. They assume a longtime partner will never leave the firm, won’t want the responsibility that comes with independence, or won’t take on the risk of building something new.
Perhaps that assumption is correct. But after decades of working with teams through these decisions, I’ve learned that people can surprise one another once the real conversation begins.
Sometimes one partner finally articulates something the others have been thinking too, and what looked like an individual ambition turns out to be a shared one. Other times, people who care deeply about one another discover that they genuinely want different things from the next chapter.
Either answer provides something years of quietly wondering cannot: clarity.
From where I sit, I would never tell an advisor to dismantle a great partnership in pursuit of some theoretical “better.” There is no perfect firm or model, and entrepreneurship carries real risks that shouldn’t be romanticized. Yet, preserving a partnership at all costs can require an individual to ignore something that has become increasingly important to them.
After more than three decades doing this work, I’ve found that these are often the hardest decisions because the choice isn’t between something good and something bad. It may be between something very good that you’ve built together and the possibility that what you want next is no longer exactly the same.
If you’ve been fortunate enough to build a business of consequence with people you value, you owe it to your partners to be thoughtful about what you’ve built together. But before deciding that preserving it requires you to put aside what you want, give them – and yourself – the benefit of an honest conversation.
