He Left the US for the Philippines and Found the Community He Wanted

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Britt McAlister, 56, who left the US to retire in the Philippines. It’s been edited for length and clarity.

I realized I wasn’t happy with my life in the US.

After my divorce, I was working 12 to 15 hours a day as a sales manager in the roofing industry. Each day, I’d get a few hours of alone time, then go to sleep and do it all over again.

I had all the things I thought would make me happy: a car, a condo, a small yacht. But still, I felt like I was missing something.

A large part of it was social connection, especially after the pandemic. My family and old friends were in Georgia, where I grew up, while I was working and living in Alabama, where I found it hard to make genuine friends.

I could go to a bar and see people I knew, but I missed having someone I could call and say, “Let’s grill out today. Let’s invite some friends over.” I tried pickleball and church, but everybody was paired up or had kids to get home to.

A move to Florida didn’t help

I thought a change of environment might help, so I put my condo up for rent and spent six months in an Airbnb in Pensacola, Florida. But it was the same thing: the locals tended to stick together, and it was still hard for me to make friends.

That was when I started seriously researching other places to live.

I considered Panama, Costa Rica, and Mexico, because they were only a short flight from home. I also looked at places like Portugal and Italy.

However, I kept coming back to the same issue: I didn’t speak the language. I wanted to live somewhere where I could communicate with local people.

As I started watching YouTube videos about Southeast Asia, I came across an American guy based in Cebu City. We became friends online, and he walked me through what life in the Philippines was like.

The more we talked, the more it felt like the right place for me. That cemented my decision.

My dad and my brother thought I was crazy to leave, since they were still in the US. But I only saw them at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I didn’t want to put my life on hold just for those three or four days together each year.

It took six months to get ready for the move. I sold my condo in Gulf Shores for $372,000 and retired from my job in November 2023. I worked out that I could live on a $3,000-a-month budget for eight years, until I was eligible to start collecting my Social Security and pension.

In January 2024, I moved to the Philippines sight unseen. I had never been to Southeast Asia before. I came with one large suitcase, a carry-on, and a backpack with my computer.

As an American, I was allowed to enter the Philippines visa-free as a temporary visitor. After the first 30 days, I applied for a 29-day visa waiver, then began extending my stay every two months. The Philippines allows non-visa-required visitors to apply for extensions of up to 36 months from their most recent arrival.

When the time comes, I’ll decide on a longer-term plan.

Finding my community

Within two weeks of arriving in Cebu, I knew I loved it here.

The American YouTuber I had been speaking with invited me to a meetup at Starbucks with several other guys. We eventually became close friends.

We started traveling together, going out to eat, and hanging out at one another’s houses. I’d found what I was missing in the US.

Moving here also gave me a chance to explore a new hobby. Video creators I met through the expat community encouraged me to start a channel documenting my adventures.

As my channel grew, people began reaching out to me, and I started hosting meetups. What began as one meetup has expanded to three a week: Monday nights at Texas Roadhouse, Thursday breakfasts, and Friday drinks with live music. Everyone is welcome, including locals.

Many people say they didn’t move halfway around the world just to spend time with other foreigners.

But once they arrive, they often miss having people who share their cultural references and understand where they’re coming from. Many of the Filipinos I’ve met, for example, have never seen or even heard of the movie “Forrest Gump.”

The meetups have become a place to meet friends, find travel partners, have meals, and go out. I want to make sure people don’t come all the way here and end up by themselves and lonely.

Looking back, I moved here for a change of pace, and it’s worked out perfectly for me.